Click for the Crochetnmore home Page

Free Crochet Patterns from Crochet N More

Free Newsletter
Four New free crochet patterns each month. Delivered twice a month.

Enter Email Address to subscribe to our Newsletter:



Patterns we Sell
Our Newest Patterns
Free Pattern Directory
Our Blog
About Us
Advertise
Crochet Basics
Crochet Tips
Crochet Links
Crochet Supplies
How to read a pattern
Help Me Crochet
Knitting Links
Buy our patterns
Newsletter Archive
Contests
Our Amazon Books
Crochet Resources
Message Board
Visit our T-Shirt Shop
Craft Books
Our Videos

Donate to CNM

Check Out

The Dog House
The Scratching Post

Jesus First
My Testimony
Prayer List
Bible Trivia
Do You Know Jesus?
Ten Commandments

Help Us Out

Donate to CNM
Link To Us

CE Links
Charity Links
Cool Links
Awards

Privacy Policy
Contact Us
Site Map

On Sale Now at Joann.com 



Crochet Patterns | Afghans | Air Fresheners | Baby | Bath | Bookmarks | Coasters & Doilies | Dolls & Accessories
Hair & Fashion Accessories | Holiday | Kitchen | Knit Patterns | Miscellaneous | Pets | Religious


Follow Crochetnmore on TwitterFollow us on Facebook

Crochet N More
Newsletter

Volume XIII, Issue No. 21
November 15, 2010

Serving approximately 5,500 crafters...

(This newsletter distributed FREE via e-mail only on the 15th and 30th of each month)

 

Thank you for requesting the Crochet 'N' More Newsletter.
We hope to provide you with exciting information on the latest web developments pertaining to the Crochet 'N' More website as well as two of my original patterns in each issue.

If the Crochet N More website and/or Crochet N More Newsletter
have been helpful to you and you would like to make a donation

Click Here

THIS ISSUE IS SPONSORED BY:

Cardstore.com

 

cont.

Haley (and her Dad) have been hard at work on our Cafe Press T-shirt shop.
We've expanded a bit. We have a crochet t-shirts section.
Just click on the design you like.
We also have crochet cups, mugs, aprons, and totes.
Some crochet stuff for your baby (bibs, onesies, etc).
We'll be expanding and putting up more designs in the months and weeks ahead.
And Haley wanted me to say thank you for all those who have bought things and visited.

cont.

God Bless You!

FEATURES IN THIS ISSUE:

GENERAL NEWS
QUESTIONS FROM THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
BIBLE TRIVIA
PAGES UPDATED
NEW LINKS
MEMBER PATTERNS
CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE
CROCHET TIP
VIEWER FEEDBACK
CONTEST/GIVE-AWAY INFORMATION
CLASSIFIED SECTION
HUMOR


GENERAL NEWS


 

Dear Subscriber:


Y
our feedback is very much appreciated with regards to our website and/or newsletter.
Thank you for helping us make your visit an enjoyable one.

Don't forget... we have a new Blog... take a look:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/crochetblog/

and a Facebook Fan Page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crochetnmore/277255108133


 

 

Lisa and Tim

 

Follow Crochetnmore on Twitter

 

 

The Breast Cancer Site

 


QUESTIONS FROM
THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD


Post your crochet question on The Crochet 'N' More Message Board and you might see it here!

QUESTION:

RE: crochet teddy bear booties pattern

I have a grandson coming in February. I bought the cutest, softest pair of blue fleece overalls with matching shirt and bib. It has a teddy bear pattern. I'd like to make a pair of teddy bear booties to match it. IF anyone knows where I could find a pattern I'd appreciate it. Thanks in advance for your help.

Jamie

 

ANSWER:

You can purchase a pattern for Teddy Bear Booties here:
http://www.e-patternscentral.com/detail.html?prod_id=6267&cat_id=&criteria=zhoubio

Or make your favorite bootie pattern and use the free pattern for teddy bear head
on this page to attach to it:
http://www.personal.psu.edu/gqm4/patterns/bear.html

 

 

 

 

 

 


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT


"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic.
It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost,
but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."
- Arthur Ashe

 

Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me." And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt." And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, "My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Thy will be done." And again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And He left them again, and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. Then He came to the disciples, and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Arise, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!"

Matthew 26:36-46

 

These things Jesus spoke; and lifting up His eyes to heaven, He said, "Father, the hour has come, glorify Thy Son, that the Son may glorify Thee, even as Thou gavest Him authority over all mankind, that to all whom Thou hast given Him, He may give eternal life. And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent. I glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do. And now, glorify Thou Me together with thyself, Father, with the glory which I had with Thee before the world was.

John 17:1-5

 

"IF JESUS NEEDED TO PRAY, HOW CAN WE DO LESS?"

This quote is from Our Daily Bread - November, 2010 Issue


"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst."
Matthew 18:20


Please click here and pray for those on our Prayer List


BIBLE TRIVIA


Fill in the blank:

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to ________,
for by this some have entertained __________
without knowing it."

 

Click Here for the Answer

 

Click Here to Purchase
"The Complete Book of Bible Trivia"

 

Click here for more Bible Trivia


PAGES UPDATED

Only major page changes will be listed here.


FREE PATTERNS
The following patterns will be added to our Free Patterns soon.

 

 

Boo Bottle Cozy Crochet Pattern   Boo Treat Bag Crochet Pattern
BOO WATER BOTTLE COZY/TREAT BAG

 

Row Count 9 Crochet Coaster Pattern
ROW COUNT
9 COASTER

 

 

 

 

 


NEW LINKS

The following link(s) have been added to our links pages.


MARIA'S CREATIONS
a/k/a HANDMADE
THINGS 4 U

 

 

 

 

 


MEMBER PATTERNS


(SUBSCRIBERS SEE THESE FIRST)
However, these patterns will be added to the Crochet 'N' More website after the next issue is sent out.

Check out all of our free crochet patterns.

Purchase your crochet supplies today!

Use the promotion code below
in your online shopping basket:

Clearance Sale



CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE

(A different crochet stitch and/or tip featured in each issue...
to be added later to the Crochet Basics page)


SINGLE CROCHET OVER RING
(Sc over ring)

Working over ring, holding yarn in left hand behind ring, insert hook under/inside ring, yo, draw up a lp to the top of the ring, yo, draw through both lps on hk.

NOTE: This stitch is used in projects that require plastic or metal rings.
You can also crochet over a ring made from chains. Just chain as many as you'd like to use, join with a sl st to form the ring and begin doing the Sc over ring stitch.

Use metal rings (the size of your choice) and this stitch to make Photo Christmas Ornaments. Once you have the ring filled with stitches, you can do 3dc in each sc to form a wavy edge. Add a string to hang it and you have a cute ornament. To add the photo, trim the photo to size and tape or hot glue it to the back of the ornament.

Click here for photo instructions

 

 

 

 

 

-----

ILLUSTRATED BASIC CROCHET INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BEGINNER:

HOW TO DO A STARTING CHAIN

SINGLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

HALF DOUBLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

DOUBLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

TRIPLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

"On-line encyclopedia of knitting and crochet facts"
http://www.lionbrand.com/faq/learnToCrochet.pdf

 


CROCHET TIP


<< Viewer Tip >>

Yarn Caddies
Those fabric bags designed to hold 6 bottles of wine are perfect yarn caddies.
Will hold 6 skeins of 7oz yarn.
Bonnie Harlan

 

 

 

Scrap Yarn Ideas ...

do you have number 84?

 

 

The following page is compilation of uses for scrap yarns:
SCRAP YARN IDEAS

If you have a use that's not listed email me!

 


VIEWER FEEDBACK

NOTE: Any comments left on the CNM website or sent via email may be posted here.

Leave your message in our guestbook... and it may appear in an issue of the CNM Newsletter !


RE: ReadAPattern

Line ends stating 14 ch-1sp. What does that mean. I am stuck!

Don

<< reply >>

That should be a reference... meaning you should have 14 Chain-1 spaces on the row you just completed.


RE: Selling Items

Good morning, I cannot find this information on your site and maybe I am not looking in the right place, but can items made from your patterns be sold on a personal level? Thank you for your assistance. Anne

<< reply >>

Yes... you have my permission to make items using my patterns to give as gifts, for charity or to sell for profit. I love to see my patterns in use... all I ask is my pattern(s) not be reposted anywhere online or sold and if possible include the url to my site (www.crochetnmore.com) with each item. Thank you so much for asking.


Hi Lisa, it is Sharon again, your new newsletter still has horizontal scroll bar on every page, very difficult to read when you have to keep scrolling from right to left to read it, thanks.


Subject: Row_Count_Paw_Print_Afghan_Square

Hi! I was just wondering about your paw print afghan square. How are you supposed to crochet in the 2nd color? I've tried all the ways I know and can't figure it out. Please get back to me as soon as possible!

<< reply >>

When you change to the new color just work over the old color until it's needed again. Sometimes in a pattern you need to carry the old color and drop it in a specific spot in order to pick it back up again on the way back with the next row.

Read over this page:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/chartcrochet.htm
I discuss how to change colors when crocheting using a chart.

The following pages may be useful also:
http://crochet.about.com/library/weekly/aa072697.htm
http://www.crochetcabana.com/tutorials/join-new-yarn.htm


RE: Breast Cancer Afghan Square

I absolutely LOVE your website, and was thrilled when I saw the pattern for the breast cancer afghan square. I have been looking everywhere for a pattern, and just really don't have the "know-how"! I am a breast cancer survivor and will be participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-day for the cure in 2011 in the twin cities. As part of a fundraising event, I would like to use your pattern for the afghan square, but I will be doing it as a dishcloth instead. My daughter and I are both planning to walk, therefore, we will need to raise $4,600. I would be happy to list you on the flyer as the creator of the pattern if you will allow me to use it. I look forward to hearing from you, and thank you in advance for your prompt reply! I have much crocheting to get done J Sincerely, Sandy Solberg


RE: Newsletter

I love your new web-site. You did an incredible job. Have a blessed day. Monica Stark


Re: Christmas_Tree_Coaster

This pattern looks like fun. Can't wait to try it. Thanks for sharing.
Sharon Lough


Subject: strawberry bookmarker

I am looking for a pattern for a strawberry bookmarker with tassel. Would you have a patter for this? Hope to hear from you soon. Carmen

<< reply >>

I found a beautiful crocheted strawberry pattern here:
http://makelittlethings.blogspot.com/2010/06/crocheted-strawberry.html

Add chains and a tassel to make it a bookmark.
Here is information on making tassels:
http://www.ehow.com/tassels/


Subject: How change colors for heart square? (Feedback 103010.htm)

Thank you Lisa! How sweet of you to take the time to teach me this. It sounds easy. I will do it! Isn't it funny how there's an easy solution to some of the most puzzling things in life? All we need to do is keep on experimenting ... or ask the right person! Hugs and blessings to you. May your work and your designs warm the hearts of many people! Naomi Mallinson Avid crocheter and knitter


Subject: Molly_Toilet_Paper_Cover

what is a magic ring?

<< reply >>

A Magic Ring is a cool way to start a pattern that omits the hole you usually get when you begin a pattern that is worked in the round.

This should help:

MAGIC RING
Learn to make the center of your first round without big hole in the middle. http://www.planetjune.com/blog/tutorials/magic-ring-right-handed/

Another page that shows how to make a Magic Loop:
http://www.crochetmagazine.com/newsletters.php?
mode=article&article_id=938&key=NL00


Re: Native American Indian Doll Patterns

I am looking for some Native American Indian Doll patterns, bed dolls or the dolls that stand. Last year my house burned down and I lost everything and I am trying to find crochet patterns so I can make my nieces Indian princess' for Christmas. Do you have any Native American Indian Doll patterns? I would greatly appreciate all of the help I can get in finding those patterns. Thank you for taking time to read this email. Sincerely, Sherrie

<< reply >>

I have a free Indian Princess Air Freshener Doll pattern here:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/indianprincessairfreshenerdoll.htm

There are a couple of free Indian Doll patterns you can download at Free Patterns.com:
http://www.freepatterns.com/search.html?criteria=indian+doll&x=0&y=0&mode=list

Though not an indian doll... here is a very nice Pineapple Bed Doll pattern:
http://acrochetpatternaweekplace.blogspot.com/2009/09/
crochet-pattern-week-newsletter-number.html


RE: Baby Beanie

this is my 1st time ever following a crochet patt. was wondering if u could help me out since no one I know knows how to crochet?

R1: Ch4. 11 dc in 4th ch from hook. Join with sl st in top of beg ch4. (12dc) Do not turn.

for this, I made 4 chains then a double stich, then 4 chains and another and so on, is that right? thats actually as far as I got. but I'm at 11 dc's total. so then to join to do I take the slipnot I first used and do another ds, making 12 total? then the do not turn is that cause you just go around and around? thank you so much. I want to make it for my baby due feb 20th 2011

<< reply >>

Try this:

For Row 1 of our Baby Beanie pattern you do the following:
Chain 4.
Work 11 double crochets in the 4th chain from the hook.
Join with a slip stitch in the top of the beginning chain 4.
You should have 12 double crochets when you finish this round... Do not turn.

For Row 2:
Slip stitch between the next 2 stitches.
Chain 3, double crochet in the same space.
Work 2 double crochets between all other sts.

Visualize a double crochet stitch looking like a little fence post... instead of working into the top of the stitch like we normally do, you work in between two posts.

You should have 24 double crochet stitches when Round 2 is finished.
Join with a slip stitch in the top of the beginning chain 3.
Do not turn.


RE: Baby Beanie

Thank you, and God bless you! I am making these for the hospitals in the Sugar Land, Texas area. Emily


Re: Pattern Question

I like your Easy Booties pattern, but I wanted to know how to increase the size if I wanted. I am somewhat of an advanced beginner, but I don't know how to make adjustments. Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Tracy Osborne

<< reply >>

I haven't tried to increase the size of this pattern. You might try beginning more chains for Round 1. Keep the number of foundation chains an even number and see how that works out. Also... the number of stitches you work one single crochet into on Row 5 will change as will subsequent rows. Making the bootie longer may result in needing additional rows also.


RE: Newsletter

Just wanted to let you know that I am not thrilled with your new format. I still have the horizontal scroll bar and find I have to scroll it to the right in order to read the main body of the newsletter. Which means it cuts off the left side with all your links posted. In order to look at those I have to go back to the top of the newsletter, scroll the bar back to the left and then look at the links; and most of the time I don't even bother doing that....just read the main body, and shut down after the jokes. The old format was just perfect when it opened up, it had all the information in plain sight and readily available for any part or link. Other than that, I have been enjoying your newsletters for years and really like most of your features. I am not particularly religious so I usually just scroll past all the proselytizing, but don't mind that it's there as I see most of your subscribers enjoy it. Hope you think twice about keeping the new format as I found the old format worked just fine and had a nice homey feel to it; this new format kind of leaves one cold. Thank you for all your hard work in bringing out the newsletter. Nancy


Subject: No_Sew_Towel_Topper_2

Hi I really like the look of the no sew towel topper 2 but I do not understand how to make the loop. I have done a lot of crochet charity work but simply cannot figure out how the loop is supposed to look when it is done and where it fits in the construction of the topper. Sorry to be so dense. Thanks for any suggestions. Ruth

<< reply >>

For the Loop... you make a foundation chain of 18, then work a single crochet in the second chain from the hook. Single crochet in each remaining chain. Chain 4. Do not turn.

Now you work up the opposite side of the foundation chain into the unworked loops of each chain... work one single crochet in each chain.

Chain 4 and join with a slip stitch to the first single crochet you made.

Now hold both long edges together (fold it) and slip stitch all corresponding stitches together. Fasten off.

The loop is joined in later.... in the "Join Loop" section.

JOIN LOOP
R3: Sc in next st and through ch4 on one end of Loop to join it.
Sc in ea st around to other side. Join in other side of Loop the same way. Sc in ea rem st.

To join the loop, you begin Round 3 by working a single crochet in the next stitch and through one of the chain 4 spaces on one end of the LOOP, that joins that end of the loop to the topper. Single crochet in each stitch around to the other side (half way) and work a single crochet in that stitch AND chain 4 loop to join it on that side. Single crochet in each remaining st.


Re: Newborn Baby Beanie

I just made the adorable Newborn Baby Beanie, displayed in white on a doll baby. It really turned out cute! I am interested in making larger sizes for my grandchildren. I don't know how to adjust the pattern. Is it possible to do this? I would like NB to 24 months. I need your help... :-) Thank you so much. Lisa Simpson

<< reply >>

To make this beanie larger you would need to increase again like in R3.

Try this for R4:

R4: Sl st bet next 2sts. Ch3, dc in same sp. Dc bet next 3 sts. (2dc bet next 2 sts. Dc bet next 3 sts) around. (48dc)

Join with sl st in top of beg ch3. Do not turn.

It's like working a flat circle worked in the round first with gradual increases. You can work as many increase rounds as you want to achieve the size you need. Let me know how it goes!


Subject: Octagon_Rug

I just finished crocheting your rug pattern, turns out very pretty, but doesn't lay as flat as I would like, any suggestions?

<< reply >>

Any time a crochet project fails to lay flat... you might try blocking it. Wet the item thoroughly. Put it in the washing machine on "spin" and let most of the water spin out. Lay the item on a flat surface with a towel underneath it and shape it... pin it to the towel if needed. Let it dry completely. This should help it lay flat.


Re: Boucle_Flower

Good Morning; Thank you, for the lovely pattern.
Could you please tell me what HDC is?
Thanking you in advance, Diane

<< reply >>

You're welcome Diane.
Hdc is a half double crochet.
You can see instructions for this and many other crochet stitches
on our Crochet Basics page:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/123basics.htm


Re: My afghan problem

I am trying to make an afghan for a baby. I do not know how to end the rows. The rows get shorter and shorter and shorter. I have never seen the pattern and I do not know the name. My G'ma showed me the stitch but I am confused on how to end each row. The pattern goes like this: Like chain 50 turn, double in the 3rd chain, two more doubles in the same stitch, single in the third chain, double in the 3rd chain, two more doubles in the same stitch, single in the third chain, repeat across. Like I said I do not know the name of the stitch or how to end each row . Can you help me? Janet Black

<< reply >>

This sounds like a basic shell pattern. Is this the same style afghan? http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/cp4.html


RE: Baby_Beanie

this is my 1st time ever following a crochet patt.

was wondering if u could help me out since no one I know knows how to crochet?

R1: Ch4. 11 dc in 4th ch from hook. Join with sl st in top of beg ch4. (12dc) Do not turn.

for this, I made 4 chains then a double stich, then 4 chains and another and so on, is that right? thats actually as far as I got. but I'm at 11 dc's total. so then to join to do I take the slipnot I first used and do another ds, making 12 total? then the do not turn is that cause you just go around and around? thank you so much. I want to make it for my baby due feb 20th 2011

<< reply >>

Try this:

For Row 1 of our Baby Beanie pattern you do the following:
Chain 4.
Work 11 double crochets in the 4th chain from the hook.
Join with a slip stitch in the top of the beginning chain 4.
You should have 12 double crochets when you finish this round... Do not turn.

For Row 2:
Slip stitch between the next 2 stitches.
Chain 3,

double crochet in the same space.

Work 2 double crochets between all other sts.

Visualize a double crochet stitch looking like a little fence post... instead of working into the top of the stitch like we normally do, you work in between two posts.

You should have 24 double crochet stitches when Round 2 is finished.

Join with a slip stitch in the top of the beginning chain 3.
Do not turn.


Re: pattern

Years ago someone gave me a crocheted easter egg that could be opened up and inside was a crocheted chick (which was stuffed) which you could take out. I have searched and searched for a pattern for this but with no luck. Have you ever seen this pattern or know where I could find it? Thanks! Annette

<< reply >>

I have found a pattern available for purchase here:
amigurumi-russ-the-chick-in-an-egg

If you knit there is a free pattern here:
http://www.alandart.co.uk/products/product/38


Subject: Baby Beanie

Hi My name is ila.
I was trying to make this hat for my grandson. I did first row. but after that I could not understand. Could you please give me more detail inf. about this hat thanks. ila

<< reply >>

For Row 2 of our Baby Beanie pattern...
http://www.crochetnmore.com/babybeanie.htm

R2: Sl st bet next 2 sts. Ch3, dc in same sp. 2dc bet all other sts. (24dc)
Join with sl st in top of beg ch3. Do not turn.

This means you slip stitch between the next two stitches.
Chain 3, double crochet in the same space.
Work 2 double crochets between all other stitches.
You should have 24 double crochet stitches when that round is finished.
Join with a slip stitch in the top of the beginning chain 3. Do not turn.


 

Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.
                                                               Mother Teresa


CONTEST/GIVEAWAY INFORMATION

The information provided below is strictly for your enjoyment.


 

Enter the new contest at Creative Enterprises !

Click Here for Your Chance to Win!

 

 

 


CLASSIFIED SECTION


Got something you'd like to sell ?
Looking for a particular item to buy ?

Put your ad here to be seen by approximately 5,500 crafters...


Click here to place an advertisement in our Classified Section.


~ ~ ~ YOUR AD COULD GO HERE! ~ ~ ~


 


See more styles at
http://www.cafepress.com/crochetnmore

cont


 

Threads N Stitches

cont.


You can buy our 51 page book
through Cafe Press.

Click Here to order your copy today!
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1

 

cont

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

cont.


Get your copy of the Gas Mileage Guide today!
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/

There's also a free Version available.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/freepreview.htm

Also make sure to check out almost daily tips for saving money
and having fun without breaking the bank.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/gas-savings-blog/

cont.


This book is a wonderful addition to any crochet library.
I've had numerous requests over the years of what to crochet for boys.
Crobots are definitely the answer!
This 96-page book is filled with numerous types of Crobot patterns as well as well-illustrated instructions for the
crochet stitches, assembly stitches and other embellishments used in the patterns.
The patterns are well written, some of the book is written in a small font but the pictures are wonderful.

NOTE: This book comes to you with a safety warning regarding the small parts used in the patterns.
Therefore, please use your own discretion as to the age of the child you intend the gift for.

 

 

 


I have to tell you about this new book.
SweaterBabe.com's Fabulous & Flirty Crochet
I'm so happy to have it in my crochet library.

Katherine Lee has an eye for style and a definite knack for creating beautiful crochet patterns.
I was really happy with the large colorful project photos.
There's something for everyone!
The aspect of Fabulous and Flirty Crochet that stood out to me was the section on the yarns
used in the patterns. One page shows "actual size" photos of the yarns which makes it super
easy to substitute other yarns if you want to. For those who stay strictly to the recommended
yarn in a pattern Katherine has included a yarn resource list. The projects are very fashionable
and perfect for gift giving... though I'm sure you'll have to make something for yourself :o)
I can't wait to try the Flirty Skirt and the Ruffled Strap Tank.

Get your copy of Fabulous & Flirty Crochet today!


 

=====================================================

Country Village Mall


If your home business isn't growing as fast as you'd like, maybe you need to move to a new neighborhood!
Come be a part of our home and small business community at Creative Enterprises!
We bring new meaning to "networking" and resource sharing!
Sign up for your membership today at

7http://www.creativethought.com

cont.



HUMOR



 

A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make?"
"It goes moo."

"Alice, what noise does a cat make?"
"It goes meow."

"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "
It goes baaa."

"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
" It goes click!"


I was checking out at a busy supermarket and the cashier was having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner malfunctioned and finally, the cashier spilled a handful of coins. When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22.

Trying to soothe her nerves, I said... "That's a nice round figure."

Still frazzled, she glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself!!!"


My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read:
"Check for clunking sound when going around corners."

Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation:
"Removed bowling ball from trunk".


Enticed by a television promotion, my wife ordered a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer. Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called UPS to arrange for pickup.

The next day the UPS driver arrived at our house.
"Oh, no, not another one of these," he said.
"All I've been doing is delivering these machines, then picking them up.
The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"


The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"


When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter. During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked.

Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said,
"Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."


A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of the couple that were to be married. To cover his forgetfulness, he requested,
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?"

Immediately, nine single ladies, six widows and two single men stepped to the front.


Young husband: "Why can't you make bread like my mother does?"

Young bride: "Why can't you make dough like my father does?"


After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left.

Later, the wife's roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine."


At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."


I watched a man rush onto our plane at the last minute before takeoff. He spotted one of the few empty seats on board and silently sat down, just before I started the safety announcement. Later that night, though, he seemed bothered as the woman next to him fidgeted and got up frequently to use the bathroom. Still, the man never uttered a word. Feeling sorry for him, I quietly asked if he would like to move to another seat. "My wife's been annoying me for 26 years," he said. "There's no sense in separating us now."


First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to me for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking exhausted. As he struggled with my door, I joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?" "Yeah," he muttered. "They're called keys."


Review Crochetnmore at Mamasource
Preview Parenting Advice at Mamasource!

 

SUBSCRIBE: if you've already receive this newsletter you do not need to subscribe again.
UNSUBSCRIBE: only do this if you don't enjoy our newsletter :o(


Free Crochet Patterns About Us separator    Our Blog Twitter   Our Site Map   Contact Us Facebook

Copyright 1998-2010 Tisa Enterprises / Crochet N More.com