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FEATURES IN THIS ISSUE:
GENERAL
NEWS
QUESTIONS
FROM THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD
WORDS
OF ENCOURAGEMENT
BIBLE
TRIVIA
PAGES
UPDATED
NEW
LINKS
MEMBER
PATTERNS
CROCHET
STITCH or TECHNIQUE
CROCHET
TIP
VIEWER
FEEDBACK
CONTEST/GIVE-AWAY
INFORMATION
CLASSIFIED
SECTION
HUMOR
GENERAL NEWS
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QUESTIONS
FROM
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Post your crochet
question on
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Crochet 'N' More Message Board
and you might see it here!
QUESTION:
RE: How to do Hairpin Lace.
I'd like to know how to do Hairpin Lace & where to get the "U" shaped devise to make it on? Thanks, Mary
ANSWER:
You can purchase a loom here:
http://www.amazon.com/Susan-Bates-Adjustable-Aluminum-Hairpin/dp/B00097HXHM
This page shows how to make a loom:
http://static.knittingparadise.com/upload/2011/8/29/1314657438473-pdf_make_your_own_hairpin_lace_loom.pdf
Here's a photo tutorial on how to make hairpin lace:
http://www.crochetcabana.com/specialty/hairpin_lace.htm
You might enjoy this page:
http://www.stitchdiva.com/tutorials/hairpin-lace
You can also find numerous videos on youtube... here's one:
http://youtu.be/exkDF2oiPR8
Lisa Hamblin
CNM/MBA
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
"Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help,
something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.
~~ Albert Schweitzer ~~
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread? When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, my heart will not fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this I shall be confident. One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to meditate in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock. And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me; and I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice, and be gracious to me and answer me. When Thou didst say, "Seek My face," my heart said to Thee, "Thy face O Lord, I shall seek." Do not hide Thy face from me, do not turn Thy servant away in anger; Thou hast been my help; do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation! For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up. Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a level path, because of my foes. Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:1-14
But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all men. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:12-18
Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice! Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
"GOD IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO HEAR
THE PRAYERS OF HIS CHILDREN."
This quote is from Our Daily Bread - April, 2012 Issue
Check out the E-votions blog:
Be careful the environment you choose, for it will
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you will become like them. - W. Clement Stone
"For
where two or three have gathered
together in My name, there I am
in their midst."
Matthew 18:20
Please click here and pray for those on our Prayer List
BIBLE TRIVIA
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PAGES UPDATED
Only major page changes will be listed here.
FREE
PATTERNS
The following
patterns will be added to our Free Patterns soon.
ROW COUNT
FLOWER
AFGHAN SQUARE
FLOWER APPLIQUE
Correction on R3 (noted in blue).
MOM BOOKMARK
Page updated with new chart.
NEW LINKS
The following link(s) have been added to our links pages.
None at this time.
(SUBSCRIBERS
SEE THESE FIRST)
However, these patterns will be added to the Crochet 'N' More
website after the next issue is sent out.
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CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE
(A
different crochet stitch and/or tip featured in each issue...
to be added later to the Crochet Basics page)
GAUGE
Gauge refers to the measurement of stitches and rows contained in a stitch pattern sample. Always begin your gauge swatch with the recommended hook size and yarn then adjust the hook size as needed. Be sure to make your swatch large enough to get a proper measurement.
To measure the stitch gauge... lay the ruler
horizontally across the work.
Row gauge... lay the ruler vertically across the work.
The measurements of your gauge swatch lets
you know if your gauge meets what is recommended for your pattern. If
it doesn't measure up like the pattern says then you should adjust your
hook size accordingly...
too many stitches in your measurement... switch to a larger hook
too few stitches... switch to a smaller hook
Keep in mind... if your project isn't for a garment or an item that needs to be the approximate suggested size in the pattern instructions... then checking the gauge isn't as critical.
Helpful gauge information:
http://www.crochetcabana.com/tutorials/gauge.htm
http://crochet-mania.blogspot.com/2008/08/blog-post_08.html
"On-line
encyclopedia of knitting and crochet facts"
http://www.lionbrand.com/faq/learnToCrochet.pdf
Crocheting into the back loop only of each stitch on a row leaves you a ridge of unworked loops (the front loops) into which you can embellish the project.
Scrap Yarn Ideas ... do you have number 90?
The following
page is compilation of uses for scrap yarns:
SCRAP YARN IDEAS
If you have a use that's not listed email me!
VIEWER FEEDBACK
NOTE: Any comments left on the CNM website or sent via email may be posted here.
Leave your message in our guestbook... and it may appear in an issue of the CNM Newsletter!
Re: Easy_Bookmark
Thank you, I am still a beginner and want to do 50 cross bookmarks for a up coming breakfast with my women's church group. do u have any real easy patterns.
Charlene
<< reply >>
I have a few cross bookmark patterns you can try:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/picotcrossbookmark.html
http://www.crochetnmore.com/crossbookmark.htm
http://www.crochetnmore.com/plasticcanvascrossbookmark.html
The last one is my favorite because it isn’t very big and it’s sturdy.
I plan on doing a video for this pattern soon showing how to make
it but it really isn’t too difficult once you understand how to stitch
onto the plastic canvas.
Re: Pinterest
I really enjoy your newsletter and have made some really neat stuff from your website. I just finished the double ruffle baby blanket and it turned out beautifully. Thanks!
Do you allow your stuff to be added to Pinterest? I've started to a few times, but thought I better ask. When I tried, the picture of the item didn't show up, but your logo did.
I thought since it would link to your site, and not just the free pattern, that it would be ok, but thought I better check.
Thanks! I'm looking forward to the next newsletter. :)
~Brenda~
<< reply >>
I’m so glad you are enjoying the patterns offered at CNM.
Yes, I do allow pinning of my patterns.
When you share a link that goes directly to my pattern page
that helps keep the Crochet N More website online.
You can see some pages that I’ve pinned here:
http://pinterest.com/crochetnmore/
Some of my pages fail to load an image on Pinterest and
I’m not sure why. It may be that the image has to be a
certain size. I’ll see if I can figure out why some images
load while others do not.
In the meantime... pin away
and thank you so much for writing!
Re: Dog Sweater
Good Morning Lisa,
I love your dog sweater pattern and I have attached a pic of my dog/best friend, Lilly, wearing one of the sweaters I have crocheted for her.
Thanks for the pattern,
Tammy Painter
* Lilly * |
See our other furry friends modeling their sweaters - Visit The Dog House!
Hi
What is
ch, sl st, sc, sc dec, hdc.
Regards
Blossom
<< reply >>
ch is chain
sl st is slip stitch
sc is single crochet
sc dec is single crochet decrease
hdc is half double crochet
instructions can be found here:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/123basics.htm
Via the Crochetnmore Twitter page
Crochet Tip:
Determine the weight of partial skeins of yarn with a food scale.
Comment:
Best $5 I ever spent - my scale! I use it for yarn, fleece, dyeing - I don't even think it's ever been used for actual food!
Monica Lowe
Via the Crochetnmore Twitter page
Scrap Yarn Idea:
Store balls of scrap yarn in a mesh bag like oranges are packed in.
Comment:
I use those zip-up plastic bag containers you get when you buy sheets or blankets.
Monica Lowe
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Crochet Tip: When crocheting a striped afghan... carry unused color up the side = fewer ends to weave in later.
Comment:
Love this idea--- thanks !!
Michele Choate
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Crochet Tip: Don't be afraid to "frog" your work.
If a stitch doesn't look good - frog it and crochet it again.
Comments:
frog? I am sorry but I do not know that term.
Nancy Lofgren Easter
---
to unravel it a bit or completely
Ashley Amber Artechi
---
rip it, rip it, rip it. I have to frog all the time.
Ann Polk Watkins
---
It's kinda like "rip-it, rip-it".. :) And it's good advice. In the end, you'll be glad you did.
Vivian Gilbert
---
When I first started crocheting it broke my heart to have to take out stitches... but I've been known to unravel or "frog" 20 rows or more on an afghan to fix a mistake.
Crochetnmore (Lisa)
---
I will do the same thing.
Stacy Dee Hernandez
---
Oh thank you Ann Polk Watkins! I wondered why 'frog'!
Walli Osborn Martinez
---
Wow, I have "frogged" quite a few times. I did not know there was a name for it other than screwing up and starting over. lol
Stacy Justchilling
Via the Crochetnmore YouTube Channel
RE: How to Crochet - Foundation Double Crochet Stitch
Comment:
Thank you.. Do you know what kind of yarn was used for this tutorial?
It seemed to crochet so beautifully..
Michele Stuurmans Shekey
<< reply >>
Red Heart Super Saver
Crochetnmore
Via the Crochetnmore YouTube Channel
RE: How to Crochet : Kaleidoscope Afghan Square (Rounds 1-4)
Comments:
I'm so doing this.....xoxo
Marivel Ortiz
---
This is just the first video... I'll post the others soon or you can find them on youtube.
Feel free to post a photo!
Crochetnmore
---
ty so much...xoxo
Marivel Ortiz
Via the Crochetnmore YouTube Channel
Re: How to Crochet - Joining Squares with Single Crochet and Chain Stitches
Comment:
Hello,
Thanks for this method of joining.
It is so pretty.
fill9twos
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Scrap Yarn Idea: Use scrap yarn to tie your scissors to your tote bag so you don't lose them.
Comment:
good idea i'm always losing my scissors, I just bought a new pair because I couldn't find them and as soon as I came home I found them, it was ridiculous
Ashley Amber Artechi
RE: Read A Pattern
Hi Can you tell me what it means when it say DEC, 1 dc in each of the next 3dc 7 times then Dec 1 dc in each of the next 2 dc 7 times and then 1Dec 1dc in next dc 7 times hope you can explain this linda
<< reply >>
This seems an odd way to write a pattern.
I believe the designer wants you to do this:
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc (that’s 7 times)
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc (7 times)
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc (7 times)
Is this pattern online?
When I first read it I interpreted it differently that I stated
above. If there’s a stitch count to refer to I recommend counting
the stitches.
<< Linda's Reply >>
Hi again yes I have 35 stiches and have to get to 14 it says in the index of the pattern that Dec =
(draw up a lp in the next st) twice, yoh and draw through all 3 lps on hook. I have done what you said to do but have more than 14 stiches left at end. Linda
http://spotlight.com.au/projects/e05-projects/project-04/
<< My Reply >>
Okay... you should have 35 stitches after round 5.
This is round 14:
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc
work a dc2tog then work 1dc in each of the next 3dc (that’s 7 times)
Now you should have 28 stitches
This is round 15:
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc
dc2tog, dc in next 2dc (7 times)
Now you should have 21 stitches
This is round 16:
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc
dc2tog, dc in next dc (7 times)
Now you should have 14 stitches
Round 17 is worked without shaping.
All that means is that you work one dc in each stitch.
Now you should still have 14 stitches
This is round 18:
Dc in each of next 6 dc, 2dc in next dc
Dc in each of next 6 dc, 2dc in next dc
Now you should have 16 stitches.
Let me know how this works up for you... the stitch count is correct in the pattern.
<< Linda's Reply >>
Thankyou so very much for all your help I do appreciate all the trouble that you have gone to, it has worked out now with your help. Linda
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Re: Junior Toilet Paper Cover
Comment:
"I made one like this for my sis-in-law for her birthday. She loved it!!!
Thanks for the free patterns!"
Terri Heyne
Subject: ReadAPattern
Can you define "holding back last loop"?
Vickie
<< reply >>
When a pattern instructs you to hold back the last loop
you do not complete the very last step.
For example: to make a double crochet you do this:
Yarn over and insert your hook into the stitch or space indicated.
Yarn over and pull up a loop. (3 loops on hook.)
Yarn over and draw through 2 of the loops. (2 loops on hook.)
Yarn over and draw through the last 2 of the loops.
if you "hold back the last loop" you only do this:
Yarn over and insert your hook into the stitch or space indicated.
Yarn over and pull up a loop. (3 loops on hook.)
Yarn over and draw through 2 of the loops. (2 loops on hook.)
Not working the last step of the stitch leaves you with 2 loops left
on your hook.
Re: question
On the ABC Afghan Square row 6 last 3 stitches would make it 29 sc than row 7 has 28 sc should it be on row 6 20 w 6 b 2 w not 20 w 6 b 3 w
Sherry
<< reply >>
Yes, you are correct. Thank you so much for letting me know I had a typo.
The pattern is corrected:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/rowcountabcafghansquare.htm
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Re: Sun Coaster
Comment:
This is a sweet pattern, coasters are such wonderful gifts, I've made nearly all of the ones you've shared. I'd like to express my sincere gratitude for this site for at least the last 15 years I have made maybe a hundred of the wonderful p...rojects so sweetly put in this really great site, and I've never had any problems following your patterns, what I'm tryibg to say is the patterns are right on!The price of a project can be cut dramatically thanx to crochetnmore.com Thank You § God bless you and yours.
Tammy Edmonds
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Scrap Yarn Idea:
Crochet doll blankets using scrap yarn... make them striped or join motifs in multiple colors.
Comment:
Excellent idea! They would make great gifts for little girls to use with their baby dolls. Thanks!
Kc Denson
Enjoyed watching some of your stitch tutorials--I had never heard of an extended single crochet stitch and the method of having the closed center is great. Thanks!!
I tried clicking the link to see if there were any contest going but it took me to a small business directory site instead.
Taeria
<< reply >>
Thank you so much for writing.
I appreciate you letting me know about the contest link.
I have removed it and added a link to an active contest sponsored
by Red Heart:
http://www.redheart.com/blog/yarn-month-giveaway-april
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Checkerboard Crochet Pattern
http://www.crochetnmore.com/checkerboard.htm
Comments:
My kids take theirs everywhere with them!
Becky Cooksley-Bell
---
That's great! Not many kids enjoy board games anymore.
Crochetnmore
RE: Post on the Crochetnmore Fan Page
Scrap Yarn Idea:
Use scrap yarn to make square for Warm Up America.
http://craftyarncouncil.com/aboutWUA.html
Comment:
thanks for the link ..... I'm on my way there
Karen Fleury
Subject: Flower_Applique
Having trouble were I’m to attach and start in center.
Sharon
<< reply >>
Thank you for writing regarding this pattern... I noticed a typo I had made on R3.
I have corrected the pattern page:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/flowerapplique.html
To begin the center of the flower you join the same yarn in any unworked loop on R2... then repeat R3. When you did R2 you worked into the BLO (back loop only) leaving the front loop of each stitch unworked... those unworked loops are where you work the center ruffle.
RE: Ribbed Edge Granny Baby Afghan
Just wondering how many for the first row?
Bhatha, Sukhi
<< reply >>
You should have 12dc on Round 1.
Subject: Crochet_Denim_Purse
Hi,
My name is Kayla, I am 28 years old from South Carolina, I was looking at your pattern and wanted to know if you can Please E-mail me directions on how you made the Purse,
thank you in advance!!
<< reply >>
I used the leg from a pair of jeans, crocheted a flap and a handle and
sewed them all together to form the purse:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/crochetdenimpurse.htm
The bottom of the jean leg where the hem is will be the top of the purse
where you add the flap. The cut end is sewn shut to form the bottom of
the purse. The flap is sewn along one side of the hemmed edge and then
a handle is added to either side and a button sewn on as shown in the photo.
Post on the Crochetnmore Google+ page:
Scrap Yarn Idea:
Crochet doll blankets using scrap yarn... make them striped or join motifs in multiple colors.
Comments:
Great idea! When I was a kid I enjoyed making stuff for my dollies, little girls learning to crochet can be taught how to make blankets and things for their dolls, it will make the craft fun.
Craftybegonia
Kind
words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.
Mother Teresa
CONTEST/GIVEAWAY INFORMATION
The
information provided below is strictly for your enjoyment.
Red Heart Yarn of the Month Giveaway:
http://www.redheart.com/blog/yarn-month-giveaway-april
CLASSIFIED SECTION
Got something you'd like to
sell ?
Looking for a particular item to buy?
Put your ad here to be seen
by approximately 5,500 crafters...
Click here to place an advertisement in our Classified Section.
~ ~ ~ YOUR AD COULD GO HERE! ~ ~ ~
Do you know a little girl that doesn't have a baby to hold and care for?
Please visit our site and click on request a doll on the left hand side of the site.
If you need a teddy bear for a little boy please add next to their information
on the request for that it’s for a little boy so we know to send a teddy..
http://www.mollysbabies.org
while your there visit are many pages, we have a volunteer application page
with all the information on there.
We also have Santa letter's, items for sale.. all proceeds goes to Molly's Babies inc.
Right now to keep Molly's Babies Inc running we need your support. so please visit
our site today and see if you can help out with something..
how you can help page
and a lot more. stop by and check us out.. look forward to your visit.
Click here for ways you can help!
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Molly's Babies Inc.
P.O. Box 308
Versailles, CT. 06383
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=WY3PT9P5P4JAL
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The Blog: http://buddybulletinblog.blogspot.com/
The Buddy Bulletin Newspaper: http://paper.li/SuperEB/1322068502
The Buddy Bulletin #Crafts: http://paper.li/SuperEB/1324399824
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Get your copy of the Gas Mileage Guide today!
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/
There's also a free Version available.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/freepreview.htm
Also make sure to check out almost daily tips for
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cont.
This book
is a wonderful addition to any crochet library.
I've had numerous requests over the years of what to crochet for
boys.
Crobots are definitely the answer!
This 96-page book is filled with numerous types of Crobot patterns
as well as well-illustrated instructions for the
crochet stitches, assembly stitches and other embellishments used
in the patterns.
The patterns are well written, some of the book is written in a
small font but the pictures are wonderful. NOTE:
This book comes to you with a safety warning regarding the small
parts used in the patterns.
Therefore, please use your own discretion as to the age of the child
you intend the gift for.
I have to tell you about this new book.
SweaterBabe.com's Fabulous & Flirty Crochet
I'm so happy to have it in my crochet library.Katherine Lee has an eye for style and a definite knack for creating
beautiful crochet patterns.
I was really happy with the large colorful project photos.
There's something for everyone!
The aspect of Fabulous and Flirty Crochet that stood out to me was
the section on the yarns
used in the patterns. One page shows "actual size" photos
of the yarns which makes it super
easy to substitute other yarns if you want to. For those who stay
strictly to the recommended
yarn in a pattern Katherine has included a yarn resource list. The
projects are very fashionable
and perfect for gift giving... though I'm sure you'll have to make
something for yourself :o)
I can't wait to try the Flirty Skirt and the Ruffled Strap Tank.
Get your copy of Fabulous & Flirty Crochet today!
=====================================================
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Come be a part of our home and small business community at Creative
Enterprises!
We bring new meaning to "networking" and resource sharing!
Sign up for your membership today at
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cont.
HUMOR
|
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention.
"Look, Martha," her friend said. "he wants to go home with you!"
The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house just minutes
ago. As I was putting the finishing touches on packing up my
own vanload of Scouts, bound for the wilderness and a
three-day camping excursion, I noticed that someone from
the first car had left a pair of hiking boots on the back steps
and snagged them.
An hour later we caught up with the first car at a rest stop. Just after we figured out that no one had forgotten a pair of boots, my cell phone rang. It was my wife.
"Have you seen the plumber's boots? They were on the back
steps...."
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well preserved he appeared.
"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On
our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we
had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside
and take a walk."
A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when a young lady got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.
She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift
This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After an hour had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window.
The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to Sears next.
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories.
As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on
weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate
in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.
So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago!
I owe my life to chocolate!
Noah made cookies with his Grandma Sue for Easter, and he really wanted to make a cookie for Jesus.
He brought it home and his mom, Becky, wrapped the yellow frosted bunny cookie in plastic wrap and put it in the freezer until the second coming.
When Becky reminded Noah that when Jesus comes back they will go to heaven, Noah said, "That's OK. He can still stop by our freezer and get a snack!"
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of the couple that were to be married. To cover his forgetfulness, he requested, "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?"
Immediately, nine single ladies, six widows and two single men stepped to the front.
The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order.When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn't decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses -- one for each year of her life.
The woman put aside her business judgment and advised,
"She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife."
The young man bought a dozen roses.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
While vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in campgrounds, visitors' centers, and rest areas, advising people not to feed the bears, how to avoid bears, what to do if a bear sees you, what to do if a bear attacks, and so on.
My favorite, however, was a hand-lettered sign on the door of a small gas station in a remote area. It said: "Warning! If you are being chased by a bear, don't come in here!"
Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank.
Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry about not
speaking more clearly. I've had Novocaine."
"You should have used the drive-through," she said.
"Why?"
"Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained.
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