Crochet N More
Newsletter

Volume XII, Issue No. 14
July 30, 2009

Serving approximately 5,500 crafters...

(This newsletter distributed FREE via e-mail only on the 15th and 30th of each month)

Thank you for requesting the Crochet 'N' More Newsletter.
We hope to provide you with exciting information on the latest web developments pertaining to the Crochet 'N' More website as well as two of my original patterns in each issue.

If the Crochet N More website and/or Crochet N More Newsletter
have been helpful to you and you would like to make a donation

Click Here

THIS ISSUE IS SPONSORED BY:

 New t-shirt design

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 I Love www.crochetnmore.com T-Shirt
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cont.

Plus Size Dresses

Shopping for a plus size dress?
Sydney’s Closet offers you the largest selection of
trendy plus size dresses in
sizes 14 to 44 in stock and ready to ship.
Discover styles that fit and flatter every figure!

cont.

God Bless You!

FEATURES IN THIS ISSUE:

GENERAL NEWS
QUESTIONS FROM THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
BIBLE TRIVIA
PAGES UPDATED
NEW LINKS
MEMBER PATTERNS
CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE
CROCHET TIP
VIEWER FEEDBACK
CONTEST/GIVE-AWAY INFORMATION
CLASSIFIED SECTION
HUMOR


GENERAL NEWS

Dear Subscriber:

We're getting ready for another school year so this issue is a bit earlier than usual.
We have school shopping (clothing and supplies) to take care of for the next few days.
School starts early around here... August 5th.
Summer is never long enough.

Thanks to all who emailed me regarding the "Plain English" situation
(some responses included in the Feedback Section of this issue.
I really appreciate those of you who took the time to email me.
I had alot of helpful ideas.

 

Lisa and Tim

 

 

The Breast Cancer Site

 


PEN PAL?

If you would like to be added to the Crochet 'N' More Pen Pal list please send an email including the following:
Name, Email Address and Interests.
(For interests, please send General Information Only such as what types of things you enjoy crocheting, your favorite threads and/or yarns, etc. Please, no personal information such as age, marital status, snail mail address, etc., and limit your entry to 25-35 words.)


QUESTIONS FROM
THE CNM MESSAGE BOARD


Post your crochet question on The Crochet 'N' More Message Board and you might see it here!

QUESTION:

RE: Searching for a potholder/hot pad crochet pattern

I am looking for a pattern for a potholder/hotpad.(and needle size)
It is crocheted and it sort of "finishes itself off" as you are working it.
It just folds over into a triangle for use as a potholder, or you can stitch it together.
An elderly lady tried to give me the pattern, but she had alzhiemer's very bad and has since passed away.
I really would love to have this pattern. Would appreciate any info. what so ever. Betty

ANSWER:

I found this site
http://crochet-mania.blogspot.com/2008/08/blog-post_12.html

 

QUESTION:

RE: double-end cable crochet hook

Lisa I so look forward to your newsletter each time, so informative.
Some of the gals in our crochet class would like to find cable crochet hooks with hooks on each end.
Does such a thing exist? Thank You, Katy

ANSWER:

Joann.com has what are called circular crochet hooks (40").
They come in sizes G, H, I, J, and K You will find them on this link:
http://www.joann.com/joann/catalog.jsp?CATID=cat2871&PRODID=prd27714&AID=10273743&PID=1802066&_requestid=2238893 Hope this helps
Char55

 

 


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT


Ann Butenas sent me this video about her Grandmother... inspiring:
The Secret to Living a Long Life


A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

 

A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

 

This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for is friends. You are My friends, if you do what I command you.

John 15:12-14

 

As for me, I shall call upon God, and the Lord will save me.

Psalm 55:16

 

Cast your burdens upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

Psalm 55:22

 

"A FRIEND IS THE FIRST PERSON WHO COMES IN
WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GONE OUT."

This quote is from Our Daily Bread - July, 2009 Issue


Whenever you fall, pick something up.
                                                 Oswald Avery


"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst." Matthew 18:20


Please click here and pray for those on our Prayer List


BIBLE TRIVIA


Who hurried and took two hundred loaves of bread and
two jugs of wine and five sheep already prapared and five measures of roasted grain
and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys?

 

Click Here for the Answer

 

Click Here to Purchase
"The Complete Book of Bible Trivia"

 

Click here for more Bible Trivia


PAGES UPDATED

Only major page changes will be listed here.


FREE PATTERNS
The following patterns will be added to our Free Patterns soon.

Row Count "F" Coaster Crochet Pattern
ROW COUNT
"F" COASTER

 

Row Count "G" Coaster Crochet Pattern
ROW COUNT
"G" COASTER

 

 

 

 

 

The following page is a list of uses of scrap yarns:
SCRAP YARN IDEAS

 

 

 

 

 

 


NEW LINKS


The following link(s) have been added to our links pages.

BARB'S FREE CROCHET PATTERNS

 

 

 

 


MEMBER PATTERNS


(SUBSCRIBERS SEE THESE FIRST)
However, these patterns will be added to the Crochet 'N' More website after the next issue is sent out.


 

 

Row Count H Coaster Crochet Pattern
ROW COUNT
"H" COASTER

 

Row Count I Coaster Crochet Pattern
ROW COUNT
"I" COASTER

 

 

Purchase your crochet supplies today!

Use the promotion code below
in your online shopping basket:

 
  Clearance Sale
   
 
Click here to see our growing collection of FREE PATTERNS  

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 




CROCHET STITCH or TECHNIQUE

(A different crochet stitch and/or tip featured in each issue...
to be added later to the Crochet Basics page)


LARKS FOOT STITCH (No abbrev.)

The Larks Foot Stitch isn't just one crochet stitch... it is a combination of different crochet stitches
that makes the pattern.

See instructions on the following page:
http://crochet-mania.blogspot.com/2009/04/larksfoot-crochet-pattern-stitch-baby.html

Watch the video!

 

 

 

 

 

 

-----

ILLUSTRATED BASIC CROCHET INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BEGINNER:

HOW TO DO A STARTING CHAIN

SINGLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

HALF DOUBLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

DOUBLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

TRIPLE CROCHET (click here for instructions)

This file is very informative when learning to crochet:
http://www.lionbrand.com/faq/learnToCrochet.pdf

 


CROCHET TIP


Pain in your hands when you crochet?
Do your dishes before you crochet.
Sure, we would rather crochet first but having your hands
in the warm water just might help relax the muscles in your hands
enough to make crocheting a more enjoyable experience.


 

 

 

 

 

Scrap Yarn Ideas ...

69. Take some nylon net and cut it into strips about 1/2 to 2/3 inch wide and then crochet both the yarn and net into a square of about 3" wide and long. These make great scrubbies for kitchen and bathroom cleaning. An easy way to cut the net is to roll it and then cut off desired width.
Virginia Welch

do you have number 70?

 

 

The following page is compilation of uses for scrap yarns:
SCRAP YARN IDEAS

If you have a use that's not listed email me!

 


VIEWER FEEDBACK

NOTE: Any comments left on the CNM website or sent via email may be posted here.

Leave your message in our guestbook... and it may appear in an issue of the CNM Newsletter !


Subject: Baby_Beanie question

i would like to ask your permission to use this pattern for a mommy group that i am part of. our intentions are to make baby booties, hats, and blankets to donate to hospitals and women's shelters in our area. all items made from this pattern would be donated and no profit will be made. also, the pattern would only be reproduced for those who are making the items to donate. may we have your permission to use this pattern for the above stated purpose? sincerely, tonya denton proud member of midessamommies.com

<< reply >>

You have my permission to make items to donate OR sell. All I ask is my actual pattern(s) not be sold.
Including a link to my website with each item made is always appreciated.


Lisa, crochet'n'more is my favorite crochet site. I have tried a lot of your patterns. Most recently is your pattern for a scissor holder. I can't imagine not having one now. I even made one for my husband. He is always working on projects that require scissors. Since he uses an exacto knife as much as the scissors, I sc; a rectangle about 6 stitches wide and the length of the scissors blades. Then I single crocheted it to the front of scissor holder (in the front of the "blade" section.)Now he carries the exacto knife and scissors together. Your sister in the Lord, Becky We


RE: Boa Scrunchie

I just wanted to say I love the look of the Boa Scrunchie.
It looks cute, yet elegant. I give it two thumbs up.

Darla Copple


Re: Confusing crochet instructions

I am relatively new to crocheting and am working on a project where I can't quite comprehend the instructions. If you would be able to help at all, I would greatly appreciate it.

The instructions say:
Ch 3 Row 1: 3 hdc in 3rd ch from hook - 3sts.
(I think i understand everything except the 3sts, I don't know what to make of that)
Thanks for your time and all your help!
Chelsea

<< reply >>

That is at the end as a reference.
Once you finish that instruction you should have three stitches (3sts).


RE: About your TOILET TISSUE COVER pattern

I've made a few of these and I always get great compliments about them. :)
Thank you for creating this great pattern.

I did want to mention that I always seem to need to crochet a few more rounds than your pattern calls for, and I am not sure if it is because of the size of the toilet paper rolls we use, or my crochet tension or what, so I thought I'd write and tell you what I usually do, in case you'd like to include it in your pattern directions for others who might have the same issue? :) Where you say Rounds 8 to 15, I just make that Rounds 8 to 18. Then Your Round 16 becomes my Round 19, and your Round 17, becomes my Round 20.

Just thought I'd write and see if this might help others out that might need it.
Hope this helps, and have a blessed day!
Thanks again for sharing such a pretty pattern.
Denise


RE: Ruffled Doll Skirt

I don't know how many to chain at the beginning of the waist. You can't just chain 4 and have it fit the doll. Maybe I'm missing something.
Mary B.

<< reply >>

You aren't missing anything... this pattern just isn't made in the traditional way.
The band is made first... width wise. Then the skirt is added on.


Hi I was trying to print out your pattern but had several problems. I am interested in learning easy patterns and this one looked good. I hope that you can send it to me. I was told on line it was a free pattern. Thanks for your help.

<< reply >>

The pattern for Ashley's Baby Afghan is free... see if this page displays for you: http://www.crochetnmore.com/ashleysbabyafghan.htm
you should be able to print the pattern from there.
If not please let me know and I'll copy it into an email for you.


RE: Plain English

I have read your 'Plain English" patterns and they are very good and in no way degrading. Your explanations of the way crochet is written is much easier to understand than the general way some patterns are written. I for one sometimes need more explanations as to how to do 'the next stitch etc. Some patterns are just too hard to understand and therefore need "Plain English" instructions. Many thanks Christine Australia


RE: Plain English

Hi Lisa. In response to your question about using the expression "Plain English"; you could say, 'plain text' :-) Barbara


RE: Plain English

I am so sorry that some one took offense at your terminology. I have always found the patterns on this link easy to understand and I am self taught. I have given some thought to what you might say and wonder if saying "unabreviated" might soothe the waters? Polly G.


Subject: Loaf pan tote

I love the loaf pan tote. I am wondering if you have a pattern for a standard casserole pan or Pyrex 9 1/2 x 13 1/2 and a pattern for a round casserole Pyrex that would fit my 10 inch dutch oven. These would make nice Christmas gifts for the women in my family. We have lots of pot lucks. If you don't have patterns for theses could you adjust your loaf pattern to fit theses casserole patterns. I have only been crocheting about a year but love it. Thanks Carol

<< reply >>

I'm so glad you love the loaf pan tote.
I'm sorry to say that I have yet to design a carrier for regular casserole dish.
I do, however, have a Round Casserole Carrier pattern:
http://www.crochetnmore.com/roundcasserolecarrier.htm
I did locate patterns for a set of Fall Casserole Carriers and a set of
Winter Casserole Carriers at Free Patterns .com
http://www.freepatterns.com/search.html?criteria=potholder&mode=list&x=1&y=1


RE: Plain English

If plain English offends, perhaps layman's terms might work? It's amazing what offends people nowadays! We never seemed to have much of a problem with offending people when I was growing up! (Of course, I'm older than dirt now. lol) Dee Dee in GA, USA


RE: Plain English

Hi, re 'plain English', how about 'no abrieviations? Darlene Talmadge


Re: Wording

You just keep doing what you are doing. I speak Plain English too, and your patterns are so easy to follow. Keep up the good work. God bless Georgianna Coffman Alvarado, TX


RE: Plain English

Hi Lisa. In response to your question about using the expression "Plain English"; you could say, 'plain text' :-) Barbara


RE: CROCHET N MORE NEWSLETTER Vol. XII, Issue 13

Hi Lisa. I've been enjoying your newsletter for years. I just noticed a mistake I thought I'd bring to your attention; I hope you don't mind :-)

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus. Leviticus 19:18"

should be: EPHESIANS 2:4-6
TaTaForNow, Barbara

<< reply >>

Thank you so much for letting me know.
I have since changed the reference on that verse. I use the prior newsletter as a form for the new one and sometimes human error haunts me. By all means, please do email me if I get a reference incorrect in future issues. So glad to know you are enjoying the newsletters.


RE: HELP!

I am working a border around a baby afghan and have come across an instruction I don’t understand. It says “Ch 4 sc in dc, miss 3 sc in next dc.” What does “miss” mean? It does not say ‘skip’. Does it mean skip? Please let me know if you understand what it is trying to tell me to do. Thanks.

<< reply >>

>> “Ch 4 sc in dc, miss 3 sc in next dc.”

Yes, "miss" is the same as "skip".

Here's what I interpret from your instructions:
Chain 4
single crochet in the next double crochet
skip 3 (skip the next three stitches)
single crochet in the next double crochet


RE: read a pattern

what does this mean,
3 dc, ch 3, 3 dc
thanks Paula Perry

<< reply >>

That means three double crochets, chain 3, 3 double crochets.
If this were within parentheses you would work all of those
stitches in the stitch indicated just after the closing parentheses.


Re: Emma's_Baby_Rattle

Hi there. I have just downloaded your pattern for the baby rattle but as I live in New Zealand could you please clarify for me what Bernat Baby Coordinates is? ie is it double knitting wool/cotton etc.
Also size F hook and a basic idea of what a craft stick is.
Your help would be greatly appreciated. many thanks -- Irene

<< reply >>

Bernat Baby Coordinates yarn is a soft, sport weight acrylic yarn.
Here's a link to more information about Bernat Baby Coordinates yarn:
http://www.bernat.com/product.php?LGC=babycoordinates

Also, here is a page about yarn weights:
http://www.bernat.com/standardYarnWeights/
in case you need to determine a yarn substitute.

A size F hook is a 3.75 mm hook. You can find a chart on hook comparisons on this page:
http://www.karpstyles.com/crochet/hook-chart.html

A craft stick is the same type of stick used for ice cream and popsicles... here's a photo:
http://www.learningthings.com/mmLEARNINGTHINGS/Images/ERFOR2499_100.gif


Re: Oooops

I am sure someone else has pointed out the mistake in Biblical references in this issue, but just in case, the reference written is from Corinthians not Leviticus as stated and the Leviticus reference (which does apply) is not given at all. This is not a criticism, I enjoy the Bible Studies very much, I just thought you'd like to know they are being read and someone noticed the mis-step. Please keep them coming, they are wonderful. I love the newsletter and want to leave you, in my first letter to you, with the very positive affirmation that you are doing a wonderful job and please keep up the good work. I enjoy the newsletter very much. I teach crochet to a group of women from my church and I often refer to your newsletter for their edification. Thanks, Mary Musgrave

<< reply >>

Yes, another viewer caught my mistake also.
Thank you so much for caring enough to let me know.
I have since changed the reference in the last issue from Leviticus to Ephesians 2:4-6... and I also added a couple of other verses from 2 Corinthians.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-6

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15

I am glad you are enjoying the Bible Studies and happy that you cared enough to let me know I made a dreaded human error in the July 15th issue. My newsletters will be published indefinitely as I love providing this service for my fellow crocheters.


Re: questions on crochet

I am trying to do a pattern that is HDC chain 1, HDC in row 1. Then in Row 2 you make a HDC in the chain 1 space. How do you do this and could you send instructions or photos. Thanks. Linda

>>HDC chain 1, HDC in row 1.
This sounds like you are working a half double crochet, then one chain... repeating that across the entire foundation chain to form Row 1.

>>Then in Row 2 you make a HDC in the chain 1 space.
To work a half double crochet in the chain 1 space... you work the stitch into the hole below the chain... not into the actual chain, itself.

Sorry, I do not have any photos...hope this helps.


RE: CROCHET N MORE NEWSLETTER Vol. XII, Issue 12

I ALWAYS ENJOY YOUR NEWSLETTER THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE MY NEWSLETTER WITH YOU .
http://carolynsdesigns.blogspot.com

WOULD APPRECIATE YOU SHARING THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.THANKS, CAROLYN


Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
                                                               Mother Teresa


CONTEST/GIVEAWAY INFORMATION

The information provided below is strictly for your enjoyment.


Enter the new contest at Creative Enterprises !

Click Here for Your Chance to Win!

 

 


CLASSIFIED SECTION


Got something you'd like to sell ?
Looking for a particular item to buy ?

Put your ad here to be seen by approximately 5,500 crafters...


Click here to place an advertisement in our Classified Section.


~ ~ ~ YOUR AD COULD GO HERE! ~ ~ ~


CREATIVE TERESA

My Etsy sales are used to make angels for Angels For Hope.
Approximate cost $2.00/angel for supplies/postage.
Angels are free for anyone that request them from the AFH website.

071509-083009


 

Threads N Stitches

cont.


         New t-shirt design

   " I Love www.Crochetnmore.com "

            Buy yours today!

I Love www.crochetnmore.com T-Shirt

http://www.cafepress.com/crochetnmore.386564863#

cont

.

You can buy our 51 page book
through Cafe Press.

Click Here to order your copy today!
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1
Crochet N More Pattern Collection 1

 

cont

 

 

 

 

 

 

cont.


Get your copy of the Gas Mileage Guide today!
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/

There's also a free Version available.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/freepreview.htm

Also make sure to check out almost daily tips for saving money
and having fun without breaking the bank.
http://www.gasmileageguide.com/gas-savings-blog/

cont.


 

Get your copy of Diane England's
"Cute Crochet for Kids" :

 

 

 


I have to tell you about this new book.
SweaterBabe.com's Fabulous & Flirty Crochet
I'm so happy to have it in my crochet library.

Katherine Lee has an eye for style and a definite knack for creating beautiful crochet patterns.
I was really happy with the large colorful project photos.
There's something for everyone!
The aspect of Fabulous and Flirty Crochet that stood out to me was the section on the yarns used in the patterns.
One page shows "actual size" photos of the yarns which makes it super easy to substitute other yarns if you want to.
For those who stay strictly to the recommended yarn in a pattern Katherine has included a yarn resource list.
The projects are very fashionable and perfect for gift giving... though I'm sure you'll have to make something for yourself :o)
I can't wait to try the Flirty Skirt and the Ruffled Strap Tank.

Get your copy of Fabulous & Flirty Crochet today!


 

=====================================================

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If your home business isn't growing as fast as you'd like, maybe you need to move to a new neighborhood! Come be a part of our home and small business community at Creative Enterprises!
We bring new meaning to "networking" and resource sharing!
Sign up for your membership today at

7http://www.creativethought.com

cont.



HUMOR




A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.
As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife,
"Why didn't you bring the piano, too?"

"Are you trying to be funny?" she replied.

"No, I really wish you had" he sighed.

"I left the tickets on it."

 


An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit.

"Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have chest pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis, constipation, stomach cramps, earaches, burning in the eyes, congested lungs..."

"Sir," says the doctor, "you complain you have so many things. What don't you have?"

The man answers, "Teeth."


Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon.

Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon.

When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."


These responses actually appeared on real science tests. All were marked wrong:

"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."


A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."


Handy Engineering Conversions

- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

- 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

- 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

- Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

- Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

- 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

- Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

- 10 cards: 1 decacards

- 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

- 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

- 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche


I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game.

We eat so much wild game, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said: "Boy, it sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods."


All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.


A young woman wasn't feeling well, so she asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced,
"I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said,
"Very good. Just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."


A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rearview.. what could it be?

WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!

Something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.
He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.

WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!

He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to
250 mph. Not ten seconds later,he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and ,unbelievably , the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says,
"Oh My! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Yeah...Unhook my suspenders from your side mirror."


The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks,
"Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."


 

 

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